The last year or so has been a wild ride for me. When we found out that we were having Joseph, I started to look for a job that paid more. And through God’s amazing coordination, I was able to get a job at Gymboree in December 2018. How perfectly fitting that I was going to work at a children’s clothing company! Discounts!
Then a month after I started in January 2019, Gymboree filed for bankruptcy. I was one of the few that was blessed enough to have a job until their final closing day in mid-April (which was around Joseph’s due date). Those months were extremely anxious for me as I was franticly looking for jobs. I applied to many, interviewed to a few, and was accepted to none. I was getting discouraged and frustrated.
But God had another plan. My supervisor at the engineering firm I worked at previously reached out to me after hearing about Gymboree’s bankruptcy. She offered me a freelance role that I could do from home until I find something else. While I was at Gymboree, I would not have been able to take paternity leave right away and receive 100% of my pay when Joseph was born because I hadn’t been working there long enough. Judy was praying that I would at least be with her and Joseph for the first month or so. God answered far beyond what we could imagine.
Through the freelance opportunity, I have been working from home since Joseph’s birth and made more than I did in all my previous jobs. I’ve had the ability to be with Joseph more than most working fathers. Back in May 2019, I applied for a role at Blue Shield of California. The people I interviewed with seemed really great. We had a wonderful connection, and they really liked me. The position and company seemed like a great match for what I was looking for. I waited for almost a month, and finally they decided to hold off on the role to focus on more immediate needs.
Throughout the rest of the year, I applied over and over again. Some of them seemed super hopeful but ultimately I wasn’t selected. I felt helpless, unwanted, and started to get into a real low. But there were several times where I would spend time with God and just pray. I felt His presence and Him telling me not to worry, and that He’s got my back. He will take care of my needs. Trust Him.
I was reminded constantly of Matthew 6:25-27, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”
I knew God had a plan. I just didn’t see it yet. But I knew things would be okay. Last month in January 2020, the people at Blue Shield reached out to me again. They told me they had another opening and hadn’t forgotten about me. This came at an amazing time because my freelance role with the engineering firm was ending at the end of the month.
After several interviews, design tests, and weeks of waiting, God came through yet again. My start date at Blue Shield is March 16, 2020 (about a week before my 36th birthday). What I’ve learned over the last year or so is that God has a plan for my life. His plan far exceeds my plans. His plans pleasantly surprise me all the time. All God wants is to be with me. He seeks my heart. He desires my time. Much like how I would want those things from my own son. I want to spend time with him and be with him.
Our gracious Father loves me. And sometimes it might take what seems to be poor circumstances for me to realize that I’ve been distracted from His goodness. As long as I’m in His arms, He will protect me. But as soon as I squirm out of His arms and do things on my own, that’s when I’m vulnerable to attacks from the devil.
God has a plan for you and for me, so trust Him. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:6-7 It’s okay to make plans but be okay when God changes them. Align your heart your heart with God, and His plans will be your plans. “The heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
